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Fixing Our Ugly Attitude Toward Fathers

Posted by Patrick Eades on Jun 10, 2019, 7:00:00 AM

It's no secret the pregnancy center world is dominated primarily by female staff and volunteers. As a result of being a man in this movement, I often hear the question, “How do we reach the men through pregnancy centers?” I don’t know that I can answer this better than my female counterparts, but I really do believe the greatest gift that centers can give the women we serve is to also serve the men in their lives (which typically means the fathers of their unborn children).

Something that is not always acknowledged -- but I believe is the starting point for reaching men -- is attitude. Before counseling techniques, proper forms, policy and procedures, interior design and adding staff, there has to be an attitude assessment.

You might be thinking, “What attitude? I don’t have an attitude.” I certainly hope that is true, but just in case let me explain. Hopefully you can help others. Interestingly enough I have noted this attitude in both men and women. As a matter of fact, I will go ahead and admit that I myself have had this attitude, and it needs to be acknowledged and changed.

There is a tendency in the pregnancy movement to become jaded toward men. I understand the jading effect. And I'm not saying it only happens with men - I know we sometimes become jaded against the women we serve as well. 

Unfortunately, many of the men in our clients' lives have put themselves in a very bad light. Even worse, some of them may have intentionally hurt our clients. Some have left our clients high and dry. Some have put undue pressures on the clients we have served to have an abortion. Some have abused our clients in various ways. In many of these cases, there are seemingly no redemptive qualities in the men.  

As a result of these bad situations, it becomes natural to think negatively of every man involved with our clients. If the story of the pregnancy center ministry was a one-act play, the men involved in an unplanned pregnancy would be the villain. The father of the baby is the antagonist who is responsible for this mess - sometimes unintentionally and sometimes even intentionally! He is the monster who intended to hurt our client, make life more difficult, to put the client in a painful and irreconcilable position! As a result, it is convenient to hate, despise, dismiss, and disparage the men.

You might think, “If the men have been a problem don’t they deserve the bad attitude?” I definitely understand that thought. However, as a Christ-follower, we are called to a better attitude.


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